He comes up and starts making conversation and bad jokes. He says stuff that I suppose we were supposed to find shocking and offensive "I don't support the troops. Fuck em. I want em to get killed!" I suppose it was an attempt to make us think he was cool.
Finally he gets around to asking our ages and says "That's great! So you guys can buy me alcohol." Rob says "I can't leave."
The kid says "But you can leave right? You're not at work."
"Uh no. I can't leave either." "Why not?" "I just can't leave."
"But you'd buy me beer if you could, though wouldn't you?"
I said "Under certain circumstances I would." (I didn't bother to voice that those circumstances would be him being 21.)
He goes "I'm not blowing you, man. I'll cut your dick off and feed it to ya, but I'm not gonna blow ya. I could get a gun and put it to your head and feed you your dick and make you buy me beer, but that would be the hard way."
I start wondering if he's even remotely aware of what words are actually coming out of his mouth and the legalities and potential consequences of making idiotic nonsense statements that could be construed as a threat of armed assault.
Around that time, the rest of his friends come over from the picnic table, and he says "Hey guys, I met two really cool people." and a couple of em shake our hands. Two of them were girls. One of the girls was like "I need to sit down again." and sits on the curb. The other girl crouches down and looks like she's checking on her out of concern or something (Lay off the meth, kiddies.)
While that main kid continues making idiotic statements, the two girls abruptly start kissing FOR NO REASON!
Me and Rob just sort of turn our backs and walk away, and fortunately they didn't follow us.
We started making fun of the whole thing "What the fuck was that? Why were the girls kissing? Was that actually supposed to IMPRESS us?!" and we can hear them out past the dumpster still carrying on making noise and trying to get attention. Actin' a foo, as a southerner might say.
"These kids today. I'm glad I wasn't that stupid when I was that age."
"I've never been so happy to be like 30."
"Why don't they do what we did to get beer at that age? Hang with the wrong crowd!"
"Yeah why don't they have any bad influence friends?"
Grow up, kids. Stop trying to impress people. Just be yourself. Posers are lame.